Learn how to wield your influence
The stoplight turns green. Maybe you are daydreaming and slow to get off the line and sit there for a second.
Did you know that the car you drive influences the amount of grace the person behind you may give you before they honk at you? Studies have shown that people are slower to honk at a luxury car than an old beater when stalled at a green light.
You walk through the grocery store and you end up taking a food sample from someone offering it to you. Once you take that sample it’s a little harder to turn them down when they ask if you want to buy some.
These are two simple examples of influence. We all have influence. Maybe you are an “influencer” and you already knew that. Or maybe you need a reminder that people are influenced by what you do. Yes…You! What you do makes an impact. How you do what you do influences the results.
Influence in and of itself is not a good or bad thing. It just is. It can be used in both good and bad ways. Don’t hear “influence” and think “manipulation.” That is just a bad “soundtrack” (shoutout to Jon Acuff and his book, Soundtracks) you may have caught and got stuck on repeat in your head.
As with anything, once you learn how it works, you get to decide how to use it. Being influential doesn’t mean being sleazy, conniving, manipulative, or pushy.
Here is what influence actually is:
Influence is your ability to have an effect on someone or something. When someone is influenced, they comply or follow along with where the influence or gravitational pull is leading them.
Influence is obtaining compliance.
Again, I feel the need to reiterate…this isn’t bad. You have a business, and you want people to buy your products or services. Of course, you do! How you wield your influence will impact the success you have in doing so.
Have I piqued your interest yet?!
Okay, several years ago when I was trying to decide if I should get an MBA, go to law school, or just keep reading everything worthwhile I could get my hands on — (I ended up reading a lot and going to law school to get my MLS) — one of the books I came across was The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman. I loved it. It not only gave a high-level overview across a variety of topics, but it also came with a recommended reading list. View the list here. Over the years I often refer back to this list and choose another book to read in the area of interest I have at the moment. The list categorizes the types of books so it's easy to pick one instead of stalling out staring at all 99 titles.
So where am I going with this…in the “Influence” section of the reading list, the first book listed is Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini. It’s on my short list of books that have most impacted me. After reading it you kind of feel like you can see the Matrix (like the movie) of influence happening all around you. It’s a lot harder to get taken advantage of after reading it because you’ve seen behind the curtain. At the same time, you are able to use the principles of influence to help you gain compliance from others.
Here’s the thing, when you believe in your product or service so much and know that they truly help your customers, then when you influence people to become a customer you aren’t tricking them — you’re helping them. You are using your influence to help them get unstuck and find the solution they need in this noisy and distracted world.
In the meantime, here are some of my favorite takeaways from it.
The Top 6 Factors of Influence
1. Reciprocation: The Old Give and Take…and Take
When someone gives us something, we feel the need to repay them. This is the food sample trick used at the grocery store. The interesting thing here is that the value determination for repayment doesn’t equate to what was originally given. It is more a feelings value basis. You feel the need to reciprocate the generosity that was provided to you. We all love to be treated and given something, and it turns out that being the generous one is pretty cool too.
Takeaway: Be generous without an agenda. Generosity with an agenda is just manipulative and not actually “generous.”
2. Commitment & Consistency
This is the concept that it is easier to resist something at the beginning than at the end. We value being consistent and not flaky. Nobody wants to be that flaky friend that you can never count on right? When we say we are going to do something, we want to do it. This is why there is power in writing something down. We want to be consistent with what we commit to. If someone commits to something, they will try to adhere to it. If you buy a subscription or a 10-class pack at your yoga studio or some other future-based benefit, the company is getting your commitment and benefiting from your consistency.
Takeaway: It’s easier to say no before you commit.
3. Social Proof
We look for social proof because it saves us energy when trying to decide if something is safe, worth it, or for us.
We are looking for:
People like us do things like this
People like us buy things like this
And if we can find that social proof we can move forward. We can buy that thing, or do that thing. If it is good enough for them (and I am like them, feel like them, or can relate to them), then it must be good enough for me too.
Takeaway: Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
4. Liking
There are several factors that go into whether we “like” someone. Whether it is physical attractiveness, people we are similar to in one way or another, or even people that make us feel good about ourselves.
Receiving a compliment from someone can go a long way in determining how much you like that person.
We also like things that are familiar to us. Did you know that one of the reasons election signs are used so much with a candidate’s name is because it subconsciously starts to become familiar to us. This holds up more for city officials or small election races that aren’t in your awareness as much, but if you don’t do your research you might just pick the name that is the most familiar. Why? Because it feels safe, and we like safe. Safe is easy. We revert to safety unless we have a compelling reason to take a risk. So, next time you vote, remember this “familiarity” tactic.
Takeaway: We prefer to say “yes” to the requests of someone we know and like.
5. Authority
Studies show that adults have an extreme willingness to go to almost any length based on the command of someone they view as a valid authority. Authority figures we may have include: employers, judges, government officials, etc. Because of their high positions, it can often make sense to comply with their wishes (if we trust them).
The funny thing is to find authority we look for clues in some weird ways. We look for titles, clothes, trappings (like cars and jewelry), addresses, etc.
You and your business can gain authority by showing:
Education
Certifications
Clients that trust you
Testimonials
Takeaway: We want to follow an expert.
6. Scarcity
We all know this one. The way to love anything is to realize it may be lost. When something becomes scarce, we get FOMO (the fear of missing out), and we want in. Most sales promotions play on this one. Do you have a way you can make your product or service more scarce? If so, it will increase its perceived value.
Takeaway: Scarcity increases value.
*Bonus:
3 Other Common Influence Principles You Experience in Everyday Life
Expensive: Tells us “it’s good” – you get what you pay for
Coupons: Save us money, but also save us time and energy because we believe we’re getting the best deal out there.
Contrast Principle: The first element people come into contact with dictates their impression of the second element. This is also known as the anchoring effect. If you lead with the more expensive option, it makes the second option seem cheaper just by contrast alone.
You have influence. You can use it, and in fact, if you want to make an impact while you are here on Earth, you should want to use it. Kill the bad soundtrack that influence is manipulation and play a new one.
More soon,
Lane
CONSULTANT + PARTNER
P.S.
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